Video: How to be a good conversationalist

(B1), B2, C1

Radio host Celeste Headlee believes that many of us need lessons in how to engage in real conversation. In this talk from the TED website, she describes ten ways in which we can become better conversationalists. NB there are subtitles available for this talk - just click on  the video screen below to see the menu.  Video time:  11 minutes 40 seconds  Activity time: 30 minutes to 1 hour

Task:

1  Make a list of ways in which you think many people are NOT good conversationalists.

2  Read the advice below. Then watch the video that follows and put the different recommendations in the order Celeste Headlee mentions them. Which two ideas does she not recommend?

__ Listen with the intention of understanding, not of replying
__ Believe you have something to learn from each conversation
__ Don't bore people with unimportant details like dates and names
__ Don't talk about how your own experience is similar to the other person's
__ Ask a lot of questions with who, why, what, where etc

__ Don't dominate the conversation - keep your own contributions short
__ Don't be distracted by other thoughts or questions coming into your head
__ Don't try to be an expert on everything
 1  Look the person in the eye and smile
__ Don't repeat the same things again and again
__ Summarize what the other person has said

__ Don't try and do something else at the same time e.g. look at your phone

3  The answers to Exercise 2 are at the end of this activity. You can also see the complete transcript of the talk here. (also available in other languages including French)

Answers

The order of the sentences is 11, 4, 10, 8, 5, 12, 6, 7, 1, 9, 2, 3
Sentences 1 and 2 are not ideas she recommends  ("There is no reason to learn how to show you're paying attention if you are in fact paying attention.")